Dear readers,
Thank you for reading my blog for the last 30 days.
Looking back at my previous posts, I can safely say that I have enjoyed this challenge. The most read blog was the letter to Heinz. I've supposedly been read in United States 637 times, Singapore 9, Germany 8, Russia 2, Denmark 1, and once in India. That's pretty cool!
It seems that some blogs were read more than others. I think that the bible one probably didn't get viewed as much as I had hoped, you should give it a chance, it's not what you think!
I have written about different subjects or topics, and from my own experiences and thoughts. I understand that my grammar has not been the best, but I did warn you about that.
I have explored emotions that I might not have shared with my closest friends or family. I still have one that I may or may not decide to actually send to my parents, but I'm not sure if they could read my intentions as to why I would send them the one that I did not publish. In fact only ONE person has read that besides myself, and it may still stay that way.
I have been asked to continue writing my blog, and I may. I have received validation from some of you in the asking to keep it going. However, I have succeeded in my challenge to myself. This was really more about getting something done EVERYDAY. Each day I could not go to sleep until my blog was written. This may account for improper grammar as well as extreme diversion of thought. Even as I sit now, I fear that my synapses are not completing the journey from my brain to this "paper".
I have learned that I can be introspective without the need of a counselor to walk along my journey with me. I have also learned that my kitten is trying to get me to pay attention to him while I write because I've been gone for more hours than I have been home.
I think that my next challenge is to walk or bike to work,5 miles each way, more days than not. Or to at least be more active. Today, I have walked over 3 miles, not all together, but still. Maybe my challenge will be to keep challenging myself, and writing about it on here with updates?
I admit that I do enjoy writing now, more than I thought that I would. I think of topics and jot them down so that I can share them with you, and I might actually continue, but not daily. It's too much when I'm working. I do have most of the month of June off, so keep looking, and maybe you will see more. I am no longer afraid of writing.
Until then dear readers, Good night.
Monday, May 30, 2011
Sunday, May 29, 2011
The leash
Years ago, I decided to buy my mother a cell phone so that we could find her when she travels. While she was traveling on two different occasions, she missed important information. I can't remember what they both were right now, but it was important enough that she should have been able to be reached at that time. She travels all over the world now, not just driving accross the country. She was hesitant about getting a cell phone because she said it would be like having a leash, that people would be able to reach her ANYTIME, ANYWHERE. Well mom, I told her, you always have the option of not answering it.
Recently, both my mother and myself have gotten the REAL leash, an iPhone. Sure, I can still decline to answer calls, if I ever receive any, but there are apps that actually let people know where you are at any time of the day or night. It has been confirmed that Apple gets data about where you are, and has not said what they are planning to do with that information.
Think about FOURSQUARE. It instantly sends a "ping", or message, to any of your friends to let them know that you have "checked in" somewhere. This could be a great tool for unexpected natural disasters, in trying to locate bodies, but it's also a stalker's wet dream. Sure you don't have to send people messages about where you are checking in, but I think that defeats the purpose.
Do I REALLY need to know where you are?
Do you really want to know that I'm NOT out somewhere? Or that we didn't invite each other to the place that we are individually?
I suppose it's about the same as looking at a facebook feed, of course you can "check in" on there as well.
So, as far as the stalking, or big brother abilities go, you really can still control who sees what, except for apple. But I'm sure that someone is creating an app for that.
I will say that this leash has come in very handy when searching for directions, or cheapest gas stations, but I am not liking the actual PHONE part yet. Maybe that's because I'm not using it often for that purpose? I'd tell you to call me, but I've lowered my minutes so that I could afford the data plan and slightly higher insurance. Afterall, I'm not walking around this big world without insurance on an expensive phone, I didn't walk around without insurance on my cheap ass phone!
At least now when I get lost, someone can find me, even if I don't want them to!
Recently, both my mother and myself have gotten the REAL leash, an iPhone. Sure, I can still decline to answer calls, if I ever receive any, but there are apps that actually let people know where you are at any time of the day or night. It has been confirmed that Apple gets data about where you are, and has not said what they are planning to do with that information.
Think about FOURSQUARE. It instantly sends a "ping", or message, to any of your friends to let them know that you have "checked in" somewhere. This could be a great tool for unexpected natural disasters, in trying to locate bodies, but it's also a stalker's wet dream. Sure you don't have to send people messages about where you are checking in, but I think that defeats the purpose.
Do I REALLY need to know where you are?
Do you really want to know that I'm NOT out somewhere? Or that we didn't invite each other to the place that we are individually?
I suppose it's about the same as looking at a facebook feed, of course you can "check in" on there as well.
So, as far as the stalking, or big brother abilities go, you really can still control who sees what, except for apple. But I'm sure that someone is creating an app for that.
I will say that this leash has come in very handy when searching for directions, or cheapest gas stations, but I am not liking the actual PHONE part yet. Maybe that's because I'm not using it often for that purpose? I'd tell you to call me, but I've lowered my minutes so that I could afford the data plan and slightly higher insurance. Afterall, I'm not walking around this big world without insurance on an expensive phone, I didn't walk around without insurance on my cheap ass phone!
At least now when I get lost, someone can find me, even if I don't want them to!
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Signs, signs everywhere signs...
Some people strongly believe in signs. Something happens and some think, it's a sign! It's supposed to go this way, or it's not supposed to go that way.
I wonder if there really are signs, or are we looking for more validation about the choice that we have made? If signs really are all around us, directing us onto a specific path, how do we know if that path is the way that would make a positive choice or a negative one?
Sometimes when I'm watching Improv shows, for example, one of the performers might say my first name. They don't even know me, or know that I am there. Is it some sort of sign that I am supposed to be listening? Am I supposed to be going down this Improv path? I take it as a YES! Sometimes, they say things that amazingly correlate to my current journey, and let me think about a different option. I LOVE Improv!
What about those times when you are thinking about someone and either they contact you, or a song comes on that connects you somehow? Should I make contact with that person? Does that mean that they are thinking about making contact with me? I don't know. But when I think about them, I send them a hug in my mind. Unless there is much hurt or pain, then I take a second to try to embrace that feeling, or figure out that feeling. I know that it sounds rather "New Age", but I do try to be as positive as I can be and send positivity out to others. Key word there is TRY!
I was recently having a conversation with a friend who is frustrated with their, let's say crush. Whenever my friend feels like giving up, the crush seems to respond more. I've had similar experiences. Is this some kind of test to see if you really are done or to show that you are not?
What about dreams? I mean the ones that seem to be as if you are awake, not some flying talking elephant that changes your diaper. I know, we've all had some doozies! I feel like it's a snippet of something to come, like I AM on the right path! Example of a dream- Now mind you this was a dream, so be aware...
I was walking to meet the sea plane at the end of the dock from my hut on this tropical island paradise (DREAM!), when my mother comes out of the plane carrying a baby girl (she was wrapped in a pink baby blanket). It was my niece, and my mother was taking her to meet me. As I go to take her from my mother's arms, ask her, so what did they ( my sister and then brother in law) finally decide to name her? My mother said this very strangely beautiful uncommon name. I didn't remember what the name was in the dream, but months later my beautiful niece was born, and her name is not one that is typical at all. And I did live out of town, even though I was there the night she was born and I woke my mother up to take me to see her when I came home from the bar at 2am. I was notified that my niece had arrived by my mother placing a pink piece of paper on the front door, visible from the street, about the same distance as the length of the dock!
I've had many dreams that have given me "clues" about life that happens later. I usually only remember small parts, and usually only when it's happening in real time, like dejavu. Are these signs? I think so.
What about "negative" signs? You know, those gut wrenching feelings when you KNOW something is going on? Like when I was living with a guy and I was sure that he was cheating on me, so I found out where she lived and not only, like a scared idiot, knocked on her door, but heard him pulling up his pants (he was one of those guys that wore the chain to his wallet, and since we lived together, I was very familiar with that sound). I guess looking back, it was a positive thing, because I'm obviously not still with him now.
Or like when my maternal grandfather AND my paternal grandmother were both in the hospital in the city where I'm from, and I KNEW that I would be going back that weekend for a funeral, I just was wrong about for which person.
Or the time I needed to call my mother, but I wasn't sure why? She told me that she wasn't going to tell me over the phone, but that she was having surgery the next day, only to find out later that she had breast cancer. But that turned into a positive as well, as she was able to go through an experience that led her to help others that were going through similar experiences later on.
Maybe there aren't negative signs? Maybe things really do happen for a reason, and at the time that they happen we think the worst, but later come to realize how it became a positive experience. Well, hopefully. I can't imagine that anyone who has been through the natural disasters recently might think that it's a positive thing yet, but I hope that in time, it will lead to positive things in their lives.
Be careful of reading too much into something though, because that can just drive you crazy. Take these signs gracefully. Hold them in your back pocket and think about what they might mean, and then let them go until such a time comes when you might need them again. But by then, the signs might change. And all of this can occur in the time that you wait for the light to turn green. A sure sign to move forward on your path.
I wonder if there really are signs, or are we looking for more validation about the choice that we have made? If signs really are all around us, directing us onto a specific path, how do we know if that path is the way that would make a positive choice or a negative one?
Sometimes when I'm watching Improv shows, for example, one of the performers might say my first name. They don't even know me, or know that I am there. Is it some sort of sign that I am supposed to be listening? Am I supposed to be going down this Improv path? I take it as a YES! Sometimes, they say things that amazingly correlate to my current journey, and let me think about a different option. I LOVE Improv!
What about those times when you are thinking about someone and either they contact you, or a song comes on that connects you somehow? Should I make contact with that person? Does that mean that they are thinking about making contact with me? I don't know. But when I think about them, I send them a hug in my mind. Unless there is much hurt or pain, then I take a second to try to embrace that feeling, or figure out that feeling. I know that it sounds rather "New Age", but I do try to be as positive as I can be and send positivity out to others. Key word there is TRY!
I was recently having a conversation with a friend who is frustrated with their, let's say crush. Whenever my friend feels like giving up, the crush seems to respond more. I've had similar experiences. Is this some kind of test to see if you really are done or to show that you are not?
What about dreams? I mean the ones that seem to be as if you are awake, not some flying talking elephant that changes your diaper. I know, we've all had some doozies! I feel like it's a snippet of something to come, like I AM on the right path! Example of a dream- Now mind you this was a dream, so be aware...
I was walking to meet the sea plane at the end of the dock from my hut on this tropical island paradise (DREAM!), when my mother comes out of the plane carrying a baby girl (she was wrapped in a pink baby blanket). It was my niece, and my mother was taking her to meet me. As I go to take her from my mother's arms, ask her, so what did they ( my sister and then brother in law) finally decide to name her? My mother said this very strangely beautiful uncommon name. I didn't remember what the name was in the dream, but months later my beautiful niece was born, and her name is not one that is typical at all. And I did live out of town, even though I was there the night she was born and I woke my mother up to take me to see her when I came home from the bar at 2am. I was notified that my niece had arrived by my mother placing a pink piece of paper on the front door, visible from the street, about the same distance as the length of the dock!
I've had many dreams that have given me "clues" about life that happens later. I usually only remember small parts, and usually only when it's happening in real time, like dejavu. Are these signs? I think so.
What about "negative" signs? You know, those gut wrenching feelings when you KNOW something is going on? Like when I was living with a guy and I was sure that he was cheating on me, so I found out where she lived and not only, like a scared idiot, knocked on her door, but heard him pulling up his pants (he was one of those guys that wore the chain to his wallet, and since we lived together, I was very familiar with that sound). I guess looking back, it was a positive thing, because I'm obviously not still with him now.
Or like when my maternal grandfather AND my paternal grandmother were both in the hospital in the city where I'm from, and I KNEW that I would be going back that weekend for a funeral, I just was wrong about for which person.
Or the time I needed to call my mother, but I wasn't sure why? She told me that she wasn't going to tell me over the phone, but that she was having surgery the next day, only to find out later that she had breast cancer. But that turned into a positive as well, as she was able to go through an experience that led her to help others that were going through similar experiences later on.
Maybe there aren't negative signs? Maybe things really do happen for a reason, and at the time that they happen we think the worst, but later come to realize how it became a positive experience. Well, hopefully. I can't imagine that anyone who has been through the natural disasters recently might think that it's a positive thing yet, but I hope that in time, it will lead to positive things in their lives.
Be careful of reading too much into something though, because that can just drive you crazy. Take these signs gracefully. Hold them in your back pocket and think about what they might mean, and then let them go until such a time comes when you might need them again. But by then, the signs might change. And all of this can occur in the time that you wait for the light to turn green. A sure sign to move forward on your path.
Friday, May 27, 2011
On my mind...
With only 3 days left, I want to let you know that even though I may talk about wanting boyfriends, or dating, I'm really at a place in my life that it is nice to think that someone is out there, but I'm more liking the IDEA of it all. My heart really isn't in it right now. Mostly because it's been treated poorly, and partially because it may already belong to someone.
What brought this on?
Today at work, sitting next to me for most of the afternoon for reasons that I can not go into at this time,was Big City Detective. BCD, kept saying a few things over and over. 1) He can get ANYONE to admit to things they were not planning on confessing to, and 2) back to the topic of getting me hooked up with one of his co-worker buddies, or possibly someone at my high school reunion. (To which I said ummm I don't think so)
He got me thinking about a few things:
1) I might not care about actually finding someone because I'm already seeing someone, and very few people know about it. In fact I'm not sure that we can actually "LABEL" anything at this point. The problem lies in that fact that I sometimes want more than this person can give, yet also want my freedom of being able to go out on dates if asked. Or my freedom of NOT being involved with anyone. I can just sit on my couch and chill if I want without someone taking the remote from me.
I know, How is that a problem? If I'm asked, I may not be giving that person my full attention, and that's not fair to them. I'm good with my situation because I know that I don't have any expectations of him. There are no promises for anything other than what it is at the time. Sure he makes me laugh, think, feel...and when he wants to, he can be amazing. He can also be a total idiot, and asshole. Sometimes he is everything I want and nothing I want at the same time. He is consistently inconsistent! I am always learning new things about him, both good and bad, which I enjoy.
My face lights up when he enters the room, and my heart stops and it's like there is nobody else around. A friend of mine coined the phrase "relax your face" because of this, to remind me to calm it down, and not look so noticeable. Other times I'm annoyed by the fact that he is breathing. I enjoy spending time with him doing nothing, or anything. I need to relax my face right now before I get any further ideas. See! He got me to confess it to anyone whom might read this and didn't know that something was possibly going on. Even though nothing is really going on. Darn you BCD!
2) He wants to fix me up with some guy that has the same name as my Father AND brother. I just don't think that I could EVER date someone with that name. I think that it should be a deal breaker, and BCD thought that was dumb. This guy is in the correct age range, never been married, currently single, and likes to have fun, also holds a pretty good job, plus working where I do part-time. Sounds good on paper...I just don't know if I can get over his name. Is that bad? I guess it kind of is. Anyway, BCD told me to walk into the office where he normally sits, carrying paperwork to make me look more official, or purposeful, and trip over him, or one of the other guys in the small room. Then one of them will help me up and notice me... I know, it sounds like some cheesy romcom, but I might try it tomorrow to see what happens.
After all, BCD is probably right about one thing that I ABHOR! You have to play the game to get noticed. And if I'm getting noticed by someone, maybe the unlabeled will either get it and let me go, or maybe he won't like it and ask me out for REALZ! Yeah, I'm just going to do what I want to do. If something happens, it happens, and if it doesn't, it doesn't. If I get desperate, I can always answer one of my stalkers. Right?
yeah, I didn't think that was funny either.
What brought this on?
Today at work, sitting next to me for most of the afternoon for reasons that I can not go into at this time,was Big City Detective. BCD, kept saying a few things over and over. 1) He can get ANYONE to admit to things they were not planning on confessing to, and 2) back to the topic of getting me hooked up with one of his co-worker buddies, or possibly someone at my high school reunion. (To which I said ummm I don't think so)
He got me thinking about a few things:
1) I might not care about actually finding someone because I'm already seeing someone, and very few people know about it. In fact I'm not sure that we can actually "LABEL" anything at this point. The problem lies in that fact that I sometimes want more than this person can give, yet also want my freedom of being able to go out on dates if asked. Or my freedom of NOT being involved with anyone. I can just sit on my couch and chill if I want without someone taking the remote from me.
I know, How is that a problem? If I'm asked, I may not be giving that person my full attention, and that's not fair to them. I'm good with my situation because I know that I don't have any expectations of him. There are no promises for anything other than what it is at the time. Sure he makes me laugh, think, feel...and when he wants to, he can be amazing. He can also be a total idiot, and asshole. Sometimes he is everything I want and nothing I want at the same time. He is consistently inconsistent! I am always learning new things about him, both good and bad, which I enjoy.
My face lights up when he enters the room, and my heart stops and it's like there is nobody else around. A friend of mine coined the phrase "relax your face" because of this, to remind me to calm it down, and not look so noticeable. Other times I'm annoyed by the fact that he is breathing. I enjoy spending time with him doing nothing, or anything. I need to relax my face right now before I get any further ideas. See! He got me to confess it to anyone whom might read this and didn't know that something was possibly going on. Even though nothing is really going on. Darn you BCD!
2) He wants to fix me up with some guy that has the same name as my Father AND brother. I just don't think that I could EVER date someone with that name. I think that it should be a deal breaker, and BCD thought that was dumb. This guy is in the correct age range, never been married, currently single, and likes to have fun, also holds a pretty good job, plus working where I do part-time. Sounds good on paper...I just don't know if I can get over his name. Is that bad? I guess it kind of is. Anyway, BCD told me to walk into the office where he normally sits, carrying paperwork to make me look more official, or purposeful, and trip over him, or one of the other guys in the small room. Then one of them will help me up and notice me... I know, it sounds like some cheesy romcom, but I might try it tomorrow to see what happens.
After all, BCD is probably right about one thing that I ABHOR! You have to play the game to get noticed. And if I'm getting noticed by someone, maybe the unlabeled will either get it and let me go, or maybe he won't like it and ask me out for REALZ! Yeah, I'm just going to do what I want to do. If something happens, it happens, and if it doesn't, it doesn't. If I get desperate, I can always answer one of my stalkers. Right?
yeah, I didn't think that was funny either.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Lyrically entitled
So, I have often wondered at times while listening to the radio, what certain lyrics mean. I will admit that it wasn't until sometime in College that I understood the actual words, and why my mother was horrified to take her 7 and 4 year old daughters to see GREASE. I'm sure that it was even worse that I wanted to look like Sandy at the END of the movie. Smoking, with the heels, wearing black satin pants, a leather jacket, and big hoop earrings. I think this explains a lot about me now. This bundled in with when I was about 12 and thought that I was going to be a prostitute when I grew up just to piss off my ministerial parents. I don't think that I really knew what that meant, but I was determined. Well, as much as a 12 year old can be I suppose. Sometimes I tell my mom that the Theater close by is hiring again...It's a strip club. She doesn't find it amusing, but I laugh even harder at her bemusement.
I remember feeling very uncomfortable when my, then 6 or 7 yr old niece was singing "underneath it all" or was it "underneath your clothes"? Either way.
Now, listening to a 12 year old explain the lyrics of "S&M" I can only think, when is the kidzbop version coming out? And how will they clean that up?
But the best way to see what these "children", "tweens" etc. are asking is to ask them what it means...If they don't get it, then they hopefully won't until they are in college as well. Unless, of course, they just don't want you to think that they get it. I remember when I was younger pretending to know what things meant, but having no clue. Of course I couldn't ask anyone since I had just said that I knew what they were talking about. FOR EXAMPLE, I was maybe 9, or 10? and I was sitting around with the "older" kids and my b.f.f. (A.C.E.), when someone told me that I was a virgin. I immediately said, no, I'm not! And was teased because everyone knew that I didn't know what they were talking about. I'm not a good liar, still to this day.
Ignorance really can be bliss.
I feel like we should applaud people who write lyrics that are actually radio friendly, yet at the same time, I don't like it when I actually know the lyrics and they alter them for the radio. You can't have it both ways I guess.
Truth be told, I don't like listening to certain songs with my mother either. So the songs need to be both Mother and Children friendly... I guess that's why I just sing showtunes from The Sound of Music, or Annie, or Disney Films. Although, some Disney films are not very family friendly, and definitely not usually female friendly. Back to my point.
What ever happened to those songs in a simpler time? Before we sang about sex, drugs, and gangs. Sure there were songs about these things, but done in a way that they were beating around the bush, so to speak. I mean, do kids even know songs like "Tie a yellow ribbon around the old oak tree", or patriotic songs like "She's a grand old Flag"? Let's start bringing great-grandma's music back and see if it's relevant today! I bet you may be surprised and shocked at some of those racy lyrics! How scandalous some of the folk songs must have been at that time. Of course I'd love to give you an example, however, I can't seem to think of nary a one! But what great sketch or stand-up material for me to revisit! Of course I might need a refresher in 1930's and 1940's popular music. Most of what I think of is Jazz, which could be racy indeed. So racy that people of different races couldn't even listen to music in the same rooms! Glad we aren't like that anymore!
I remember feeling very uncomfortable when my, then 6 or 7 yr old niece was singing "underneath it all" or was it "underneath your clothes"? Either way.
Now, listening to a 12 year old explain the lyrics of "S&M" I can only think, when is the kidzbop version coming out? And how will they clean that up?
But the best way to see what these "children", "tweens" etc. are asking is to ask them what it means...If they don't get it, then they hopefully won't until they are in college as well. Unless, of course, they just don't want you to think that they get it. I remember when I was younger pretending to know what things meant, but having no clue. Of course I couldn't ask anyone since I had just said that I knew what they were talking about. FOR EXAMPLE, I was maybe 9, or 10? and I was sitting around with the "older" kids and my b.f.f. (A.C.E.), when someone told me that I was a virgin. I immediately said, no, I'm not! And was teased because everyone knew that I didn't know what they were talking about. I'm not a good liar, still to this day.
Ignorance really can be bliss.
I feel like we should applaud people who write lyrics that are actually radio friendly, yet at the same time, I don't like it when I actually know the lyrics and they alter them for the radio. You can't have it both ways I guess.
Truth be told, I don't like listening to certain songs with my mother either. So the songs need to be both Mother and Children friendly... I guess that's why I just sing showtunes from The Sound of Music, or Annie, or Disney Films. Although, some Disney films are not very family friendly, and definitely not usually female friendly. Back to my point.
What ever happened to those songs in a simpler time? Before we sang about sex, drugs, and gangs. Sure there were songs about these things, but done in a way that they were beating around the bush, so to speak. I mean, do kids even know songs like "Tie a yellow ribbon around the old oak tree", or patriotic songs like "She's a grand old Flag"? Let's start bringing great-grandma's music back and see if it's relevant today! I bet you may be surprised and shocked at some of those racy lyrics! How scandalous some of the folk songs must have been at that time. Of course I'd love to give you an example, however, I can't seem to think of nary a one! But what great sketch or stand-up material for me to revisit! Of course I might need a refresher in 1930's and 1940's popular music. Most of what I think of is Jazz, which could be racy indeed. So racy that people of different races couldn't even listen to music in the same rooms! Glad we aren't like that anymore!
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Validation
This morning, I was running late to work. With the downpour of rain I decided to drive up next to the stairs of the one office that I need to get my paperwork from and then drive it to my office across the street and then I would go find a parking spot. But when I got to my desk, I glanced over quickly as I was running to put paperwork down, I noticed that there was something on my desk. I instantly knew what it was and screamed! FINALLY after two years, I have gotten a form of recognition, or validation, from the company by becoming an "ALL STAR". More importantly from the head of Human Resources. I recieved a bat with my name engraved on it, and an insulated bag with a few items in it. A clock, key ring/bottle opener, magnets, and a few other items. It was nice to feel validated. The items didn't really matter to me, except the bat with my name on it. It is the fact that I now know that SOMEONE appreciates that I go "above and beyond every day". This year I've taken on the task of keeping a "line" of people with a written account of who was there first, which makes it much easier for her to know who is next without someone just barging in.
Just a few moments ago, I was siting in front of the television for a moment. Oprah happened to be on. Her final show was taped last week, yet it was like she had read yesterday's blog and was speaking directly to me. I was wondering what to write about today as there are many things on my mind that I could write about, and with only 5 days left in my challenge to myself I wonder if I will get them in. I honestly try to write down topic ideas as soon as I think of them, and somehow, usually misplace them as I start to sit down to write.
After I heard her talk about validation, I knew what to write about.
It's true that we all want to feel validated. We want to know that we fit in somehow. That we are smart enough, or cool enough, or pretty enough, or funny...ENOUGH! I understand that it's nice to get recognized for our abilities, but stop searching for it, or living your life to suit what you think that others might cheer you on for. Validate yourself. Know that you are doing what you should be doing at the time. Maybe you didn't do everything that you could, but you did everything that you could at THAT time.
One of the BEST text messages that I ever got from a friend of mine whom I adore, said that "validation of reciprocity is a good thing." Sure, it is great to know that someone feels the same way that you do, especially in a romantic relationship. Things are not always as they seem, but when you finally are on the same page with someone, it makes all of the difference in the world.
So, if we are all searching for validation, from ourselves, our parents, friends and lovers, will we stop trying when we get it? Or will we rejoice and find a new thing to get validated for? I write this blog not really for you to read it and comment on it, but to be able to write for myself. Of course, when I hear that people ACTUALLY read it, I get excited, and at the same time nervously waiting to hear validation... I guess we can't get away from it can we? GO validate someone that might not be expecting it, in a way that you KNOW that they would appreciate it, and you will both feel validated.
Just a few moments ago, I was siting in front of the television for a moment. Oprah happened to be on. Her final show was taped last week, yet it was like she had read yesterday's blog and was speaking directly to me. I was wondering what to write about today as there are many things on my mind that I could write about, and with only 5 days left in my challenge to myself I wonder if I will get them in. I honestly try to write down topic ideas as soon as I think of them, and somehow, usually misplace them as I start to sit down to write.
After I heard her talk about validation, I knew what to write about.
It's true that we all want to feel validated. We want to know that we fit in somehow. That we are smart enough, or cool enough, or pretty enough, or funny...ENOUGH! I understand that it's nice to get recognized for our abilities, but stop searching for it, or living your life to suit what you think that others might cheer you on for. Validate yourself. Know that you are doing what you should be doing at the time. Maybe you didn't do everything that you could, but you did everything that you could at THAT time.
One of the BEST text messages that I ever got from a friend of mine whom I adore, said that "validation of reciprocity is a good thing." Sure, it is great to know that someone feels the same way that you do, especially in a romantic relationship. Things are not always as they seem, but when you finally are on the same page with someone, it makes all of the difference in the world.
So, if we are all searching for validation, from ourselves, our parents, friends and lovers, will we stop trying when we get it? Or will we rejoice and find a new thing to get validated for? I write this blog not really for you to read it and comment on it, but to be able to write for myself. Of course, when I hear that people ACTUALLY read it, I get excited, and at the same time nervously waiting to hear validation... I guess we can't get away from it can we? GO validate someone that might not be expecting it, in a way that you KNOW that they would appreciate it, and you will both feel validated.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Only 6 days left for me, only 1 day left for her...
Dear Oprah,
Tomorrow is your final show. I've watched you, albeit off and on, for as long as I can remember. Every time I've been unemployed, especially here in the city, I've thought that I should get tickets to see a show. I never did. I used to dream about being a guest on your show, probably to promote a show or movie that I was in.
I would like to thank you, as most of America and the world already has, for giving us coined terms that we use everyday. I'm talking about the "ah-ha moment" especially. I feel as though the older I get, the more I have those moments and relish them.
I really want to tell you that when you discussed waiting to hear about getting the part in The Color Purple and singing "I Surrender All", I can picture you throwing your hands up into the air in complete surrender. Anytime I feel that way, I remember your story and in my head, or sometimes aloud, I start singing it as well. Although my version sounds a little more like the doorbell from WKRP in Cincinnati.
You have also reminded me that EVERY single person has a story. To try to hear someone out, to figure out why they may do the things that they do, not to just look at someone and judge them as they are right now. Not that I am much of one who judges, but it's a good reminder that we are all humans sharing similar journeys and paths along the way.
There were so many times that I wanted to write you for help in figuring out what to do with my life. It seemed that those were the times that you had discussions that I needed to hear at that particular time.
While watching the last two days, tears have formed in my eyes. Not tears of sadness, but of joy in the amount of joy that you have given to others, and not expecting anything in return. When Jada Smith said to you, that maybe you have no children of your own, but that you have mothered millions, please believe that.
I do have a small bone to pick with you. During this economic downfall, you have picked now to stop your shows? What about all of the people that you employ? Are they moving on to OWN with you? Or will they make the unemployment #'s jump in the next month or so?
Thank you Oprah, for all of the tears that I've shed, all of the books that I wanted to but didn't really read, all of the pounds that we have lost and gained together, and all of the insight that you have given to me.
Take some time to enjoy the view... Oh wait, you might not like that show. How about, take some time to do whatever you want to do for yourself.
I hope that your last show is great!
Tomorrow is your final show. I've watched you, albeit off and on, for as long as I can remember. Every time I've been unemployed, especially here in the city, I've thought that I should get tickets to see a show. I never did. I used to dream about being a guest on your show, probably to promote a show or movie that I was in.
I would like to thank you, as most of America and the world already has, for giving us coined terms that we use everyday. I'm talking about the "ah-ha moment" especially. I feel as though the older I get, the more I have those moments and relish them.
I really want to tell you that when you discussed waiting to hear about getting the part in The Color Purple and singing "I Surrender All", I can picture you throwing your hands up into the air in complete surrender. Anytime I feel that way, I remember your story and in my head, or sometimes aloud, I start singing it as well. Although my version sounds a little more like the doorbell from WKRP in Cincinnati.
You have also reminded me that EVERY single person has a story. To try to hear someone out, to figure out why they may do the things that they do, not to just look at someone and judge them as they are right now. Not that I am much of one who judges, but it's a good reminder that we are all humans sharing similar journeys and paths along the way.
There were so many times that I wanted to write you for help in figuring out what to do with my life. It seemed that those were the times that you had discussions that I needed to hear at that particular time.
While watching the last two days, tears have formed in my eyes. Not tears of sadness, but of joy in the amount of joy that you have given to others, and not expecting anything in return. When Jada Smith said to you, that maybe you have no children of your own, but that you have mothered millions, please believe that.
I do have a small bone to pick with you. During this economic downfall, you have picked now to stop your shows? What about all of the people that you employ? Are they moving on to OWN with you? Or will they make the unemployment #'s jump in the next month or so?
Thank you Oprah, for all of the tears that I've shed, all of the books that I wanted to but didn't really read, all of the pounds that we have lost and gained together, and all of the insight that you have given to me.
Take some time to enjoy the view... Oh wait, you might not like that show. How about, take some time to do whatever you want to do for yourself.
I hope that your last show is great!
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