Happy Mother's Day, an edited retort

Happy Mother's Day!
I heard all day long. Sometimes with the question before, "Are you a mother?" and sometimes with the retort after," If you are a mother."
Here's the deal. Yes, I'm female. Yes, I'm old enough to be a mother. Yes, my body shape looks like I might have possibly popped out a child. Yes, I may look like a soccer mom some days. I'm not.

In theory, some say that I am a mother of 2 four legged babies(Harper is almost 7 and Jackson is almost 2). To which I said, well thankfully, the law doesn't recognize that, because DCFS would be all over me for neglect. Although, the older one could be baby sitting the younger, and they could be latch-key kids if they were allowed to leave the house... OK, too much thought is going into this.


My point is, that it's kind of awkward if you are NOT a mother. I still said Thank you. Occasionally,  I would say things like, well, there COULD be one out there somewhere, after all there are time periods in my life that I don't remember anything. To which I get the reply from actual women whom have been through the process, 'Oh, you'd remember' and I reply, 'not if I had been pumped full of drugs'. Keep it coming, I'll keep responding.


It's not like I haven't wanted to have children. All I wanted to be, if you asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up, was to be a mommy. At one time I wanted 4, two of each please. I even pretended to be trying when I was married, until I found out that you actually have to have sex to get pregnant. Did you know that? It's true, my gynecologist told me when she said that everything looked fine on my end. Years later, I was told that it could take 6 months or more of trying at my age (this was years ago). Believe me I know ALL about when you are supposed to try, how, which positions are supposedly best for which gender of a child that you want, that I should be taking pre-natal vitamins just to be on the safe side...I even know where to find the Chinese Moon calendar to know which months to try for if I want a boy or a girl. Mind you, I'm not obsessed with this process. Somehow it was ingrained into my brain when my sister was trying for her second baby. Reinforced again when my friends were trying. Many succeeded, and many are still trying.

I wish them all the best of luck, and with that I will say that I have carefully edited what was going to be a much longer post today and will leave it with this:
If you are a Mom, I hope that you had a great day,
If you are trying to be a mom, I hope that you had a great day
If you don't want to ever be a mom, I hope that you had a great day
If you are undecided, I hope that you had a great day.