Audition

The instructions were to have a comedic song prepared, anything, 4 minute time slot, as long as you had clearly marked sheet music. SHEET MUSIC? Who carries that anymore? Wait, I have sheet music somewhere right?
I wrote different lyrics to Ombra Mai Fu for tonight's audition. Not familiar with this song? I learned it in Class Voice in college. It was one of the only classes that I got an A in at Edinboro. The other was History of Modern Architecture. It's also pretty much the only sheet music that I have. Well, that book and the old maroon Presbyterian hymnal.

The aria was composed by Handel
Ombra mai fu
di vegetabile,
cara ed amabile,
soave più.
Translation from Italian;
A shade there never was,
of any plant,
dearer and more lovely,
or more sweet.
I practiced while listening to either Dmitri Hvorostovsky or Cecilia Bartoli via YouTube, as I can not read music, nor do I have a piano or Keyboard.  OK, I can read music, but very slowly. I'm much better by ear.
My lyrics, I wrote at work one day... Hey, sometimes you just have to write when it hits you!
I carefully made the lyrics as close to the corresponding syllables, and about an hour or so before my audition, I changed it again.
My lyrics that I actually sang:
Osama's fools
72 virgins they'd get
if they just fly these jets
such stupid fools
oh, life is cruel
so many virgin lies
but now that you have died
there's none for you
No virgins will you get
not one for you
They shot you in the eye
now you won't see paradise
What will you do? 
No virgins for you 
http://youtu.be/MugXdU-h6UU (Cecilia's version)
I thought it would be funny as if it were an angel singing to those trying to get into paradise...

Anyway I tested out the lyrics to a few people and got enough positive reviews that I decided to stick with it. After all, it was for an established show with a cast that wrote their own songs, so I figured that it would be good if I wrote my own words. Thank you to Handel and Cecilia. It's fun to sing those high notes with you, even though I'm singing different words.
I did get a few smiles from the auditioning 3, and they seemed to be genuine smiles, not those, wow, poor girl bless her heart smiles. So we shall see. Either way. I'm proud of myself for singing an aria for an audition with lyrics that are current. Who knows, maybe I will have a future in song parodies...