There are a lot of celebrations this year. Well, I should sat there are many important mile markers this year. And I'm not afraid to tell you what they are.
1) 20 years ago this month I graduated from High School(Yes, in MAY). This means that I am 17 with 20 years of experience. I'm not afraid of my age. I will say that I did have a panic attack for at least 6 months prior to turning 35, but I'm told that I don't look 37. I think that people are either WONDERFUL liars, or 37 doesn't look old anymore. ANYWAY, There is going to be a reunion in August. I'm not sure if I can attend yet or not since I will be taking the weekend before off from work to attend my Family reunion on Long Island. No offense to those of you that I know from the 5 years that I schooled with you, but family is more important. I mean, if it wasn't for facebook, would we really be in touch? Did you invite me to parties in high school? That's a big NO. I remember my sister having a party at our house (sorry Mom) where some of you showed up and were RUDE to me in my own home. I actually went up to my room and waited for you to leave. I never felt that welcomed by most of you, although we aren't friends on facebook now, so whatever. There are a few of you that I have missed over the years and try my best to keep in touch now. Some of you I can't find but know that I will find you some day. Wasn't a secret nickname of mine "follow" in h.s.? To those that I would like to see, I will let you know when I will be in town, if you live in the area, let's meet up. If I don't have to work that weekend, maybe I'll drive 8+ hours to check it out. If you live in an exotic location, I would love to come and visit you there! Or come to Chicago! And if we didn't really know each other then, I'm open to getting to know you now, I mean we were just kids then, and I guess people thought that I was a goodie-goodie. Well, I kinda was...
2) 20 years ago this fall I left home and went to college at Edinboro. That means that I've known some of you for 20 years. Where has the time gone? It seems like yesterday that I was walking from Shafer Hall (no longer in existence) to John's or Perkins for a cup of coffee with friends, shooting darts or pool at either the Hotel or the Boro. Some of my favorite acting performances were there, on and off stage. I got my first hickey there as well as my first black eye. There were other firsts there too, but those aren't open for discussion, unless you were involved. Shit, I guess I have to go to Homecoming this year... That's another effing trip back east...
3) 30 years ago, I was forced against my will to leave my home, friends and family on Long Island to move to the "cemetary", as I called it, in of all places Pittsburgh. The best part of that? A.C.E. and her family. And yes, Dave, I remember Kahlua summer as a fun one. The worst part? My family splitting apart and gaining a little sister whom I didn't like until she was 21. Not that I gave her much of a chance, but we are good now, so that's good. Another bad part? Loosing my first bestest friend in the whole wide world, and somehow losing touch over the years until facebook. I'm really excited to see that she's married and expecting her first child this fall. CONGRATS!
Hopefully there will be a "sisters celebration of 30 years" in York if not Pgh., Kennywood is a possiblilty, but A.C.E., the ZOO is a definite, since we spent much time there together! Maybe we should watch Cannonball Run or E.T. too? LMAO!
4) 25 years ago we moved to Greensburg. Best part about that? There are a few peeps that I still speak to, "Dave Gretsky" has been around the longest of them all I think. We were in each others weddings...
Over the past 30 years I have had some AMAZING people in my life. Some of them have stuck around through stormy times. I know there seem to be many of those, but I think it's smooth sailing for a little while right now. I've built up walls and torn them down, and built them up again. It's funny how I am beginning to tear them down again, not as fast, but at a pace that I can handle.This one has a foundation that goes deeper than I thought. I just heard Ronald Reagan saying. "TEAR DOWN THAT WALL NOSLARC!" I'm becoming more open to being vulnerable, talking about things openly. I always thought that I was an open book. I am realizing that I have my moments of quiet solitude and reflection. I enjoy those moments as much as I enjoy clucking like a chicken on the el to make myself or friends laugh. I do a really good chicken impersonation. ( D.O.G. C.A.T. C.T.A. BLUELINE!)
In the past year there has been a lot of changes in my world. I didn't see some of them coming, and as much pain as they have caused, I suppose without them I couldn't learn to grow. I've shared so much with people that I don't know very well, with responses that I wasn't expecting. All of the responses have been positive and have given me insight into areas that I need to work on. I am finally, albeit slowly, pursuing what it is that I want to do. This takes more courage then I thought that I had, to face some fears, acknowledge some ghosts and hopefully continue forward. I'm not good with trusting people, especially as of late, but I am finding that people show up when you need them, and I am very grateful for the possibility of a new friendship that I hope continues to blossom. It's funny how people inspire you, and when you tell them, they tell you that you inspire them.
"They" say people don't change, but I am proof that they do. I mean, come on, did you ever really think that I was going to quit smoking? Or be that ex-smoker who thinks that the smell makes me want to vomit? If any of you still smoke, please have one for me right now, just not a menthol. My dad always said that you have to be sick to smoke those...
If you are upset that you didn't get a special shout out, at least you are reading this, which means that we are still in some form of communication and I am grateful for that. And like Marines... Once a New Yorker, ALWAYS a New Yorker...
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